We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
