Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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