with your own penis?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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