I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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