I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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