i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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