We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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