I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
