Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I still have a little drunk in my system
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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