so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
