I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize