Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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