he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
