He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
