I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Success! We fucked roommates!
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