If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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