Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Randomize
