they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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