Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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