I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize