she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
