new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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