I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize