these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
