WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
