East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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