he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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