There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
