chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
