I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize