Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Success! We fucked roommates!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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