I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
