so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
