Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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