i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
