im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
