He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
