im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
