hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
