Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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