bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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