Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
