I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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