Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
