My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize