Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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