YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
