My brain says no but my pants say off.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
as a side note pls kill me
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