I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
