The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
