You can't special order awesome
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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