Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"

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(760): View more from California

oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year

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(251): View more from Alabama

if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

so yall hooked up?

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(940): View more from Texas

Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.

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