Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My day in three words: secret purse cake
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
