Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
