"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
