Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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