I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
