I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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