Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
