So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
